Although the Quran defines the MALE (Mard) as the one who spends on the women, but the situation is reverse. 99% of the MALES have given up their malehood (mardanagi) and opted to begging or expecting from the women and never pay the MEHR which is obligatory on them to pay net.

In Bengal, minimum cash starts from Rs. 50,000 besides the furniture, other household items and gold. The price of the man is fixed on the educational qualification, financial background, family status etc. and thus ends up in Crores even. Somewhere, it is compulsory to give dowry, and mostly it is “by default”, means the father of the girl is supposed to give by consent. The wedding day dinner is compulsory to be paid by the bride’s side.

The consequences are described in the following article. Since this evil of dowry is common in other communities too, and they are more crushed than the Muslim society, It is a great chance for us to rise to the occasion, purify the marriage system according to the Sunnat and present a model to others. They will be on the feat of Islam if we perfom our marriages on the way of Hazrat Ali RA and Fatima RA. We request the brothers to consider this point seriously.

Thanks to Mr. Omer Khan of Rahma Foundation who patronised the whole campaign and held several seminars, gatherings and Friday Khutbas at various places like Muslim Institute, Madarsa Khaja Ghareeb Nawaz, Kanki pura, Ameena pura, Malanchak, Mahesh Gaddi, Matyabride, Garden Beach, Chaabdani etc. Huge number of audience turned up at these places, and Alhamdulillah they realised the illegitimacy of the Dowry system and pledged by raising hands to refrain from dowry as well as from wedding day dinners. They realised the importance of MEHR and many pledged to pay Mehr.
Those who have taken dowry by force, demand or due to lack of awareness under the system pledged to return as, according to the Shariya, it is obligatory to return.

We also thank to Prof. Md. Sulaiman Khursheed, Dr. Aqeel Ahmed Aqeel, Irfan Sher Sahab, Dr. Mehnaaz warsi, Maulana Nisar Qasmi, Maulana Ameenul Islam, Maulana Dr. Omer Farooq, Javed Nihal Hashmi and Shahid Jalal Hashmi. Special thanks to brother Abdul Qader Ameerullah who organised the whole tour under the patronisation of Janab Omer Khan Sahab.

The booklet “mard bhi bikte hain…jahez ke liye” was distributed free in Urdu, Hindi and Telugu. The translation is underway in Bengali, by our next campain it will be ready to be distributed inshallah.

We also thank to Mr. Rahman Sarkar, Azad Hind, Rashtriya Sahara, Payame Mashriq, Kee Khobar and Srishti TV who helped to launch the campaign in media thru newspapers and TV in Bengali, Urdu and English.

Lastly, we request your cooperation in our future campaigns in Sholapur (Jan’2012) and Bihar (March 2012). We will be grateful for your kind guidance in advance.

Aleem Khan Falaki
Jeddah

کلکتہ میں “جہیز روکو” مہم ـ 16/ تا 21/ نومبر 2011ء

Another noteworthy seminar on Dowry’s Issue in Jeddah. Addressed by Maulana Khalid SaifullahRahmani, Maulana Jafer Pasha Hussami, Maulana Mohammed BaNayeem and Aleem Khan Falaki.

Organised by Socioreforms Society (SRS), Jeddah, the Seminar was attended by a large number of Indian and Pakistani community both men and women on13th Aug’2011 at Asian Delight Restaurant. Saad Iqbal Ahmed, a young IISJ student inaugurated with the recitation of Quran followed by a Naat written by late MaulanaAqil Hussami and presented by Mr. Ameen Ansari. Aleem Khan Falaki highlighted the aims and objectives of the movement.

Important points: Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani

• The dowry (taken by men from the women’s parents) and the Wedding day dinner (if eaten on the expense of bride’s parents) is not directly Haraam or illegitimate but these things open the way to many Haraam acts like Bribery, Extravagance, and hurting. Therefore, the dowry and the wedding day dinners are against the Shariya’s ultimate goal.
• Even a simple thing like Miswak is mentioned in the Sharia but there is no mention of the “Jahez” (dowry) and the Baarat (gathering on the occasion of wedding). Therefore, it is an Un-Islamic tradition and it is an innovation.
• The Hadith “The Nikah (the marriage act) is my way” and “whoever does not adapt my way is not from us” explains exclusive philosophy and methodology of the Islamic way of marriage. As the Prophet SAWS told ” PRAY AS YOU SEE ME PRAYING “, Hence no act of Salat or Fasting etc. will be acceptable if it is performed contrary to the Prophet SAWS act. In the same way, the marriage too must be performed on the same way as the Prophet did. Whoever will do against the Prophet’s way is out of Islam.
• The status of the Dowry and the dinner comes under those formalities which become compulsion.
• Walima dinner is neither Wajib nor Farz. It is just “Masnoon”. No fiq’hi rules can be applied strictly on such things. The way the Arabs particularly the Saudis give the Walima dinner is appropriate to be followed. In Arab society, it is the man who serves the dinner at his own expense on the day of wedding.
• The main reason of the Muslim girl’s marriages to Non-Muslim boys is “Dowry”
• People seek permissions of Fiqh to spend on the marriages in dowry and dinner, but they do not want to grasp the ultimate purpose of Sharia. The Prophet SAWS permitted those acts which comfort others, not trouble others. The Prophet SAWS showed reluctance to a companion who built a well constructed house in a slum area where all poor people were residing in hut type houses. This explains how Sharia does not like disheartening of others. In the same way,the Prophet SAWS was displeased when one of his companions Ma’az Bin Jabal RA recited long verses of Quran in the congregation. He SAWS even warned to him that “O Ma’az, you want to trouble people?” There is a lesson in these incidents to those who spend by consent on their children’s marriages but they do not realize how it creates the desire in the hearts of “Have-Nots”. Eventually the Have-Nots go for begging, robbery, likes, bribery etc to earn for the sake of the marriages of their daughters or sisters.
• The latest census of India shows the ratio of the population of the women against the men is declining fast. The reason is the “Dowry”. People are compelled to take the girls as burden on their economy so they are killing them even before they are born.
• The way to boycott such marriages should not be aggressive. One should attend such marriages but after congratulating the concerned, must return without eating and participating further as these acts will encourage the violation of the Sharia.
• Since a major portion of the parent’s saving is lost by paying dowry for their daughters and spending on unnecessary dinners, the sons are deprived of their right to inheritance; therefore, after the death of the parents, the sons too deprive the sisters of their right of inheritance. Both ways, this is violation of Quran. Allah has declared this act as “breaking of the line of control of Allah”
• The call of the hour is to train the boy’s side first. The girl’s side is secondary importance but boys side must be trained and stopped from the violation of the Prophet SAWS’s act. If boy’s side is convinced and cooperative, the curse of the dowry system can be eradicated today itself.

Important points said by Maulana Jafer Pasha Hussami, son of well known scholar (late) Maulana Hameeduddin Aqil.

• Eating dinner of walima of those who have received the “Joda” (the cash paid to the bridegroom by the girl’s side) is not legitimate.
• Often the boys make excuse that they did not want to take any dowry or dinner but they had to obey their parents. This too is not legitimate as the obedience of the parents in illegitimate acts is not permissible in Islam.
• The Islamic marriage (SHAADI) is that which is without three dots on the word SHAADI.
• There is a story in the history of Omer RA, the second Caliph. This story is a great lesson to those men who are capable of earning by themselves still they look for money and other things from the bride. A person approached to the Caliph for money as he was penniless. The caliph said “take 20,000 dirham and amputateyour hands. He refused. The Caliph offered 40,000 for eyes and 60,000 for legs but, naturally, the man refused. Then the Caliph said “When Allah has already bestowed upon you such expensive gifts, why are you begging?
• Unless the scholars and the Mashaeq boycott such marriages, no revolution is possible.

Important notes of Maulana Mohammed BaNayeem.

• The dowry and the dinners are the opposite of the definition of “Man”, given by the Quran. The Quran defines the “man” as he who spends from his pocket.
• The legitimacy of boycott lays in the Hadith itself. The Prophet SAWS has asked to stop the evils by hand, if not possible then by tongue, if that too is not possible then by heart.
• The grand parties make the people addicted. Then they feel bitter taste in the simple parties based on real Sunnnat. Thus the expensive dinners undermine the dignity of the Sunnat. The people get compelled to equate with the trend and get involved in many other evils which are Haraam.
• People behave shamelessly by declaring the minor rituals like Sanchak, manja etc. as haraam but when it comes to the dowry, they run away saying “This is women’s issue, let the women decide”. This is escape and against the “manhood”.

Important notes by Aleem Khan Falaki

• The dowry and the dinners are the roots of all social and moral evils among the Muslims. People are forced to earn by hook or by crook to fulfill the expenses of the dowries of their daughters and sisters.
• If we do not take action, very soon the Muslim community will become worse than the Dalits’ both morally and financially.
• The appeal of boycott is not related merely to the legitimacy in Islam, it is more related to the dignity, courage and desire to bring the revolution. How people can tolerate seeing their daughters of the community attracting towards non-Muslims, prostitution, odd jobs and the whole Muslim community is compelled to become drivers, peon, clerks, labor due to this curse of dowry and dinners. People must stand to boycott if they have conscience.
• If Imam Abu Hanifa were alive today, he would compile the new Fiqh by sending the students to research in the streets why the girls are getting over-age, why the moral graph of the girls and boys is falling, why Muslims are bound to do odd jobs.
• The scholars of today must learn to apply the Quran and Hadees to the contemporary issues. As Abu BakrSiddque(May Allah Be Pleased with him )had asked to raise sword on those Muslims who refused to pay Zakat, although there is no punishment mentioned in the Quran or Hadees for Zakat Defaulters. Omer RZ had retrieved the punishment of amputation during the famine.Our Scholars must study the damages causing to the society due to the dowry and take proper action.
• The percentage of those who can afford to spend by consent is only 5. They are spoiling the 95% of the community.

A large number of audiences including the ladies signed and pledged that they will not attend any marriage which involves dowry and the wedding day dinner by the bride’s father.

Dr. Haroon Sayeed thanked the audience and said this is the call of the hour to boycott the weddings and create a question mark in every mind. This is the first step towards a big revolution. In future, he said, SRS will plan to organize programs to educate the people about counseling, consequences of the family rifts, etc. He also announced that the Marriage bureau in Jeddah offers help in matrimonial as well as in strained relationships. The program organizers were SaleemFarooqi, Dr. Haroon Sayeed, Abbas khan, Nisar Ahmed, Salahuddin, Abdul QaderWarangali and Tabrez Khan. It was well coordinated by the Restaurant owner Mr. Hussamuddin.

- Report by : Saleem Farooqui

People urged in a resolution to boycott attending the un-Islamic marriage parties.

Dowry and Reception day dinner forced on bride’s parents is illegitimate.

Scholars belonging to various schools of thought gathered on one stage and declared unanimously that the system of dowry prevailing in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh is not Islamic. It is corrupt, therefore, illegitimate. Presided over by Mr. Ahmeduddin Owaisi, organized by Socioreforms Society of Jeddah on 20th July, 2011 at Asian Delight Restaurant, Jeddah will be remembered by many with the incident that the electricity broke down before the start of the prog. People sat in severely hot and humid hall for two hours, sweating heavily, still did not move from the seats until the last speaker.
A resolution was signed by the scholars and audience both saying “The wedding parties will be boycotted where there will be dowry or wedding day dinner if given by the bride’s guardians”.

Aleem Khan Falaki who presented the resolution said in his opening speech that the dowry and the Reception day’s dinner is allowed in Islam if spent by the bride-groom. This system has been reversed, the bride’s parents are compelled to spend, therefore it is not legitimate in Islam. Highlighting the worst consequences, he said the people are crushed financially due to this extravagance. As a result there is alarming Increase in the rate of divorces, prostitution, immoral activities among the youths, girls’ marrying to unmatched men without parents permission, court cases of strained relations etc. The witchcraft or satanic magic holders are exploiting the society by luring them to make the grooms slave to the bride. Most important damage is that the inheritance rules in Islam which Quran describes as Line of Control are spoiled due to the dowry system. Once the girls are paid lot of dowry they are deprived of the inheritance of the father. On the other hand the sons too are deprived of the money which they could use to start the business, but they are bound to search odd jobs as the parents are compelled to spend whole saving for the daughters’ marriages.
He said the dowry and wedding dinner is a bribe, Israaf (extravagance, a need that is not genuine but created for the sake of pomp, show off for the sake of maintaining the status in the society), reversing of Quranic verses (Quran defines the “man” as who spends from his pocket on women but due to the dowry system the women have become “man” as they are spending from their pocket to buy the man), social blackmail and male prostitution (the price of the groom is fixed on the basis of the qualification, earning, family status etc, and vice versa if the woman Is less beautiful or less educated or widow or divorcee, she has to pay more to the groom), therefore the dowry is Haraam. He presented 2-point Resolution

• Boycott the dowry ridden marriages and let the inviters feel guilty
• Boycott the wedding day dinner if given by the parents of the girl, this type of dinner is against Sunnah.

All the scholars overwhelmingly supported the resolution in the light of Quran and Hadees.

Maulana Mohammed Banayeem, a well known Khateeb and scholar of Jameeatul Ulema-Hind based in Jeddah said the dowry system has become a cancer, Mere admonitions or advises will not effect, it needs operation, the boycott is must. He quoted the Prophet’s saying “make the Nikah (marriage act) so much easy that the adultery becomes difficult” but today those who are spending a lot on the wedding day dinner and dowry are helping the adultery to become easy.

Maulana Fazlurrahman from Pakistan’s Jamaat Ahle-Hadees said that the Prophet had instructed to make the criteria of piousness instead of money, beauty etc in the selection of boy or girl. Otherwise Allah imposes fitna and fasaad . Today whole world is engulfed in the punishment of Fitna. Every act which is not on the method of the prophet is a mutiny against Islam. When no government can tolerate any mutineer, how Allah will tolerate any mutiny against him? He supported the resolution on the basis of pomp and show off.

Sheikh Hidayat Sheikh Hamed, well known scholar and orator of Shia community said “people make excuse of the dowry items given to the Prophet’s daughter Fatima peace be upon her”. He said it is a biggest lie. All scholars of Sunni and Shia religions agree that the dowry purchased was from the money given by Ali peace be upon him as Mehr. He said dowry is defined as that thing which is from Man’s money, not woman’s otherwise it is illegitimate.

Well known scholar of South India’s biggest and oldest Islamic university “Jama Nizamia” Maulana Abdul Qadeer Tahir Qadri said the practice of dowry or eating on the expense of girl’s parents’ expense is an act of begging. Begging is illegitimate in Islam. He quoted the Prophet’s saying that “Giver’s hand is better than takers hand”. Whether it is given with consent in the name of the system or it is demanded, in both cases the taker is lower and giver is better and higher. It is against the self diginity and insult to the man’s pride of manlihood.

Sheikh Arshad Basheer Madani, a well known ETV Urdu scholar from Medina University and MBA from England strongly supported the resolution and said the horrible damages to the society due to the dowry system are just uncountable. This has indulged the whole community in many morally corrupt activities. He showed how the Government of India too has introduced strict laws to curb this but, since the people do not hesitate to violate the Prophet’s own instructions, how can they abide by the Government laws? He presented the statistics of feticide, infanticide, dowry deaths, harassments and court cases etc and proved that the dowry has scattered an imbalance in the society.

Chairman Mr. Ahmeduddin Owaisi hailed the anti-dowry campaign and assured that AIMIM chief Asaduddin Owaisi is taking up this campaign to every locality. He said that the dowry, as said by the scholars, is totally unIslamic, and until a few years ago there was neither such dowry problem nor there were the compulsions of lavishly dinners. The excess of money is generating the extravagance. He supported the resolution and appealed to everyone to support to eradicate the dowry and wedding day dinner from the society.

In the conclusion over 200 men and 50 women pledged to boycott the dowry and dinners by raising hands and signed the pledge.

On the vote of thanks by Dr. Haroon Sayeed and Saleem Farooqi, the successful function came to an end.

Complete Article can be read : Here

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home.
Our excuse?
‘It’s the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons’ rights to a dowry.’
So who’s going to change the system?

What does a system consist of?
Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.

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Aleem Khan Falaki

JEDDAH: An Asian father who earns SR5,000 a month in Saudi Arabia spends on average 11 years of savings to marry off his daughter in India or Pakistan, while a sweeper from Bangladesh or Kerala demands an equivalent of SR15,000 and other household items from his prospective bride.

These are some of the findings of Aleem Khan Falki, a Jeddah-based writer and campaigner who has submitted his M. Phil dissertation on the subject at an Indian university. Falki made his stunning disclosures at an unusual place on Sunday night. The occasion was a mushaira or poetry evening in honor of a guest poet from Hyderabad, Alamdar Razvi. Invitees were informed of the program and some people were apprehensive that a presentation on dowry was to be delivered at a mushaira. Still, the over 200-capacity hall of Shadab Restaurant in Jeddah’s Aziziah district was full to capacity.

This shows people’s concern over a social evil that has overwhelmed the whole of the Indian Subcontinent. The opening of job opportunities in the Gulf has further aggravated the situation as those with fat pockets are setting wrong precedents of extravagance at wedding parties.

Falki made a passionate plea to the affluent class to desist from wasteful expenditure in mangnis (pre-marriage party) and wedding feasts paid by the bride’s father. He said it was unethical and goes against the tenets of Islam. He even took an oath from the audience not to attend dinner parties that have been thrown by fathers who have been obliged to do so by the families of grooms. People also pledged not to demand dowries when their sons marry.

Falki raised the issue of mehr, which according to Qur’anic injunction, must be paid by the groom to the bride. But in the subcontinent it is the other way round. While mehr payment is deferred and in the majority of cases never paid, the groom demands exorbitant sums in cash and kind from the bride. While terming the practice un-Islamic, he said paying mehr at the time of nikah should become the norm.

He also launched the second edition of his book on the menace of dowry. The book is an attempt to prove from Qur’an and Hadith that the exorbitant dowry demands by grooms is un-Islamic and has no basis in the lives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his companions.

The program was jointly organized by 18 organizations from the Indian state of Andhra Pradesh. It was presided over by noted Pakistani poet Nasim-e-Sahr and conducted by Shareef Aslam, a popular Hyderabadi who has been living in Jeddah for the last four decades. Selected Indian and Pakistani poets such as Mehtab Qader, Asad Khan, Nasir Burnie, Anwar Ansari, Irfan Barabankwi, Faisal Tufail and Falki made the evening memorable.

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