The dowry taken “by demand or by default” must be returned – Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani

The dowry taken “by demand or by default” must be returned – Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani

Another noteworthy seminar on Dowry’s Issue in Jeddah. Addressed by Maulana Khalid SaifullahRahmani, Maulana Jafer Pasha Hussami, Maulana Mohammed BaNayeem and Aleem Khan Falaki.

Scholars at Jeddah Seminar _ 13th Aug 2011

Organised by Socioreforms Society (SRS), Jeddah, the Seminar was attended by a large number of Indian and Pakistani community both men and women on13th Aug’2011 at Asian Delight Restaurant. Saad Iqbal Ahmed, a young IISJ student inaugurated with the recitation of Quran followed by a Naat written by late MaulanaAqil Hussami and presented by Mr. Ameen Ansari. Aleem Khan Falaki highlighted the aims and objectives of the movement.

Important points: Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani

  • The dowry (taken by men from the women’s parents) and the Wedding day dinner (if eaten on the expense of bride’s parents) is not directly Haraam or illegitimate but these things open the way to many Haraam acts like Bribery, Extravagance, and hurting. Therefore, the dowry and the wedding day dinners are against the Shariya’s ultimate goal.
  • Even a simple thing like Miswak is mentioned in the Sharia but there is no mention of the “Jahez” (dowry) and the Baarat (gathering on the occasion of wedding). Therefore, it is an Un-Islamic tradition and it is an innovation.
  • The Hadith “The Nikah (the marriage act) is my way” and “whoever does not adapt my way is not from us” explains exclusive philosophy and methodology of the Islamic way of marriage. As the Prophet SAWS told ” PRAY AS YOU SEE ME PRAYING “, Hence no act of Salat or Fasting etc. will be acceptable if it is performed contrary to the Prophet SAWS act. In the same way, the marriage too must be performed on the same way as the Prophet did. Whoever will do against the Prophet’s way is out of Islam.
  • The status of the Dowry and the dinner comes under those formalities which become compulsion.
  • Walima dinner is neither Wajib nor Farz. It is just “Masnoon”. No fiq’hi rules can be applied strictly on such things. The way the Arabs particularly the Saudis give the Walima dinner is appropriate to be followed. In Arab society, it is the man who serves the dinner at his own expense on the day of wedding.
  • The main reason of the Muslim girl’s marriages to Non-Muslim boys is “Dowry”
  • People seek permissions of Fiqh to spend on the marriages in dowry and dinner, but they do not want to grasp the ultimate purpose of Sharia. The Prophet SAWS permitted those acts which comfort others, not trouble others. The Prophet SAWS showed reluctance to a companion who built a well constructed house in a slum area where all poor people were residing in hut type houses. This explains how Sharia does not like disheartening of others. In the same way,the Prophet SAWS was displeased when one of his companions Ma’az Bin Jabal RA recited long verses of Quran in the congregation. He SAWS even warned to him that “O Ma’az, you want to trouble people?” There is a lesson in these incidents to those who spend by consent on their children’s marriages but they do not realize how it creates the desire in the hearts of “Have-Nots”. Eventually the Have-Nots go for begging, robbery, likes, bribery etc to earn for the sake of the marriages of their daughters or sisters.
  • The latest census of India shows the ratio of the population of the women against the men is declining fast. The reason is the “Dowry”. People are compelled to take the girls as burden on their economy so they are killing them even before they are born.
  • The way to boycott such marriages should not be aggressive. One should attend such marriages but after congratulating the concerned, must return without eating and participating further as these acts will encourage the violation of the Sharia.
  • Since a major portion of the parent’s saving is lost by paying dowry for their daughters and spending on unnecessary dinners, the sons are deprived of their right to inheritance; therefore, after the death of the parents, the sons too deprive the sisters of their right of inheritance. Both ways, this is violation of Quran. Allah has declared this act as “breaking of the line of control of Allah”
  • The call of the hour is to train the boy’s side first. The girl’s side is secondary importance but boys side must be trained and stopped from the violation of the Prophet SAWS’s act. If boy’s side is convinced and cooperative, the curse of the dowry system can be eradicated today itself.

Important points said by Maulana Jafer Pasha Hussami, son of well known scholar (late) Maulana Hameeduddin Aqil.

  • Eating dinner of walima of those who have received the “Joda” (the cash paid to the bridegroom by the girl’s side) is not legitimate.
  • Often the boys make excuse that they did not want to take any dowry or dinner but they had to obey their parents. This too is not legitimate as the obedience of the parents in illegitimate acts is not permissible in Islam.
  • The Islamic marriage (SHAADI) is that which is without three dots on the word SHAADI.
  • There is a story in the history of Omer RA, the second Caliph. This story is a great lesson to those men who are capable of earning by themselves still they look for money and other things from the bride. A person approached to the Caliph for money as he was penniless. The caliph said “take 20,000 dirham and amputateyour hands. He refused. The Caliph offered 40,000 for eyes and 60,000 for legs but, naturally, the man refused. Then the Caliph said “When Allah has already bestowed upon you such expensive gifts, why are you begging?
  • Unless the scholars and the Mashaeq boycott such marriages, no revolution is possible.

Important notes of Maulana Mohammed BaNayeem.

  • The dowry and the dinners are the opposite of the definition of “Man”, given by the Quran. The Quran defines the “man” as he who spends from his pocket.
  • The legitimacy of boycott lays in the Hadith itself. The Prophet SAWS has asked to stop the evils by hand, if not possible then by tongue, if that too is not possible then by heart.
  • The grand parties make the people addicted. Then they feel bitter taste in the simple parties based on real Sunnnat. Thus the expensive dinners undermine the dignity of the Sunnat. The people get compelled to equate with the trend and get involved in many other evils which are Haraam.
  • People behave shamelessly by declaring the minor rituals like Sanchak, manja etc. as haraam but when it comes to the dowry, they run away saying “This is women’s issue, let the women decide”. This is escape and against the “manhood”.

Important notes by Aleem Khan Falaki

  • The dowry and the dinners are the roots of all social and moral evils among the Muslims. People are forced to earn by hook or by crook to fulfill the expenses of the dowries of their daughters and sisters.
  • If we do not take action, very soon the Muslim community will become worse than the Dalits’ both morally and financially.
  • The appeal of boycott is not related merely to the legitimacy in Islam, it is more related to the dignity, courage and desire to bring the revolution. How people can tolerate seeing their daughters of the community attracting towards non-Muslims, prostitution, odd jobs and the whole Muslim community is compelled to become drivers, peon, clerks, labor due to this curse of dowry and dinners. People must stand to boycott if they have conscience.
  • If Imam Abu Hanifa were alive today, he would compile the new Fiqh by sending the students to research in the streets why the girls are getting over-age, why the moral graph of the girls and boys is falling, why Muslims are bound to do odd jobs.
  • The scholars of today must learn to apply the Quran and Hadees to the contemporary issues. As Abu BakrSiddque(May Allah Be Pleased with him )had asked to raise sword on those Muslims who refused to pay Zakat, although there is no punishment mentioned in the Quran or Hadees for Zakat Defaulters. Omer RZ had retrieved the punishment of amputation during the famine.Our Scholars must study the damages causing to the society due to the dowry and take proper action.
  • The percentage of those who can afford to spend by consent is only 5. They are spoiling the 95% of the community.

A large number of audiences including the ladies signed and pledged that they will not attend any marriage which involves dowry and the wedding day dinner by the bride’s father.

Dr. Haroon Sayeed thanked the audience and said this is the call of the hour to boycott the weddings and create a question mark in every mind. This is the first step towards a big revolution. In future, he said, SRS will plan to organize programs to educate the people about counseling, consequences of the family rifts, etc. He also announced that the Marriage bureau in Jeddah offers help in matrimonial as well as in strained relationships. The program organizers were SaleemFarooqi, Dr. Haroon Sayeed, Abbas khan, Nisar Ahmed, Salahuddin, Abdul QaderWarangali and Tabrez Khan. It was well coordinated by the Restaurant owner Mr. Hussamuddin.

Audience at the Jeddah Seminar _ 13th Aug 2011

– Report by : Saleem Farooqui

7 comments on “The dowry taken “by demand or by default” must be returned – Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani”

  1. Rodrigo Reply

    This is true. The entire tomeraunnt was booked, well scripted and most of all well acted.This is not new with india; remember india use to win Miss World competition every year remember??!!! than the story broke that cosmetic companies in india were bribing the judges panel because india being one of the largest consumer market for cosmetics products after that, have you ever heard of indian wining the competition again??? think think think

  2. Salman khalid Reply

    I am willing to have this lecture in Riyadh under AMUOBA (Aligarh Muslim university old boys association).Please suggest best date (Thursday or Friday)

    Gen secretary AMUOBA Riyadh

  3. Mohammed Jahangir Reply


    I used to watch Ruby channel whenever I get some time from my office work. I need some clips of Dowry, which were telecasted on Ruby channel since two days, which I didn’t go through appropriately due to overload of my office work.

    I am always against Dowry and always insists to our Muslim Brothers to not take Dowry.

    Please send some clips on my above E-mail.


    • Manuella Reply

      Great post gents. Style is something that ihnerently will be judged because more people don’t have style than do. If everyone had style there would be no reason to judge. Also style separates us from the norm which even further puts you in the spotlight to be judged When I think of style the first person who comes to my mind is Ozwald Boateng. Not because I particularly like his cuts and fashions; but because he ihnerently believes that you should have style over substance. Why does this resonate with me? Substance has to be based on something. The very definition that of which a thing consists; physical matter or material: form and substance. Your substance is based on the depth of your personal style. One clearly does come before the other. Style to me is how you pull of whatever you are wearing. I don’t want to get to deep into confidence because that point has been raised, and I think that goes without saying. People who lack confidence usually don’t have style. When I think of people like Karl Lagerfeld, Taz, Tom Ford, and Ozwald. Their styles have been toned down for mass appeal. They have been judged on the biggest of stages and continue to influence. Again great comments to all of you. Continue to develop and rotate your style. It’s one of the few things that you have that makes you truly unique.

    • Gladys Reply

      I view style as a deeply mettiaidve thing rather than purely a regulatory affair. This may go against the grain but I perceive style to be something internal that expresses itself externally. Some people say style over substance but I’m not sure you can have one without the other. Think of the people you consider stylish. Why were they in your opinion? It couldn’t be just because of the clothes that they wore. Although, it may have been the initial draw. It was because they were interesting people to be around. They have interesting viewpoints, have interesting things to say, possibly had been places that seemed interesting. I don’t think that you can separate style from substance. Substance can be based on something academic, or emotional or even spiritual. For me the two are inseparable. Either way the debate will continue

    • Fernando Reply

      anyone can judge style and everyone will but i see style as the ilvdiiduanity of what you wear,the personality in it or even the art. not when you are wearing what is in,and what everyone is wearing at the moment. the way i judge style is through the ilvdiiduanity put into it. i dont really believe in judging style though cause not everyone will like the same thing. i guess you have to keep an open mind. but this is always a question i pose to myself when i look at the way someone dresses

  4. Mohammed Jahangir Reply


    I used to watch Ruby channel whenever I get some time from my office work. I need some clips of Dowry, which were telecasted on Ruby channel since two days, which I didn’t go through appropriately due to overload of my office work.

    I am always against Dowry and always insists to our Muslim Brothers to not take Dowry.

    Please send some clips on my above E-mail.


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